Friday, April 23, 2010

Chung Yii, It's Alright It's OK!!!

I realize that the person who doesn't see the beauty is just another crush to tell. And he's Chung Yii, of course. I have so much things to say about him and hope I could say it to his face, even though I feel like it would be useless. He's a cold rain, and I realize that his writing was about me, but he lets me know about this. The feeling was nothing but lust. He says it's not love at all. So, okay, the say has been said and this is just what I have to say -- "It's alright it's okay." I hate to say this but knowing him is the biggest mistake in my life and I know it was fated, but I would never forgive myself for falling for him back then. It was stupid of me but hey, I'm not sorry for myself. Everything about him is just a big mistake. Besides, if we were together, we would be like, 99.99% not going to last. Because we're different. So different. And also, I don't play games with my mind or play tricks on people. He does. The way he confuses my feelings and points his finger at me (your other three fingers are pointing back at you. So you're the fault), it obviously shows that he's the mistaken identity. And here's what I said in my song about him --

You're the fault for all the guilt pasted in my heart
The only reason why I never let it tear apart

And also this --

So it just ends tonight
I hope it goes away
I'll never fall apart again oh just because you say
"You're the fault for all the guilt pasted in my heart"
The only reason why it tears apart
It's just too much

And now I'm getting stronger and I'm not regretting anything. He's nothing to me four years ago and he's nothing to me now. And forever. I won't believe anything he writes about his feelings for a girl. Because I would pretend it's someone else. No matter what he says in it, it's alright. I'm not going to open the window and pray he stands there for true. Everything involving him in my life is just too late to believe in. I had just found a suitable song for this stupidity. It's a song by Ashley Tisdale.

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It's Alright It's OK

You told me
There's no need to talk it out 'cuz it's too late
To proceed
And slowly I took your words and walked away
No looking back
I won't regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken but still I have to say

c/o
It's alright it's OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I won't return
Our bridge has burnt down
I'm stronger now
Alright OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control
I couldn't help but fall so deep
But now I see things clear

(repeat c/o)

Don't waste your fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's way too late
I'm closing the door!

(repeat c/o)

It's alright it's OK
Without you
I won't be sorry



The song says it all and so do my songs. I'm not sorry for saying I made a mistake by knowing him. I shouldn't have talked to him when we were fifteen. But of course -- 

"When you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them" - Taylor Swift.

Forever n Always
Hannah








Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Romeo & Juliet . . . Love Story

The original story told by the famous writer of all time, William Shakespeare, and the classic English literature told to every single girls. A tragedy that haunts two persons in a time leads to an untamed love that needs affection and feelings in a thing called heart. Between tragedy and comedy the transition is often but slightly marked. Thus Romeo and Juliet differs but little from most of Shakespeare's comedies in its ingredients and treatment--it is simply the direction of the whole that gives it the stamp of tragedy. Romeo and Juliet is a picture of love and its pitiable fate in a world whose atmosphere is too sharp for this, the tenderest blossom of human life. Two beings created for each other feel mutual love at the first glance; every consideration disappears before the irresistable impulse to live for one another; under circumstances hostile in the highest degree to their union, they unite themselves by a secret marriage, relying simply on the protection of an invisible power. Untoward incidents following in rapid succession, their heroic constancy is within a few days put to the proof, till, forcibly separated from each other, by a voluntary death they are united in the grave to meet again in another world. All this is to be found in the beautiful story which was told long before Shakespeare's day, and which, however simply told, will always excite a tender sympathy; but it was reserved for Shakespeare to join in one ideal picture purity of heart with warmth of imagination; sweetness and dignity of manners with passionate intensity of feeling. Under his handling, it has become a glorious song of praise on that inexpressible feeling which ennobles the soul and gives to it its highest sublimity, and which elevates even the senses into soul, while at the same time it is a melancholy elegy on its inherent and imparted frailty; it is at once the apotheosis and the obsequies of love. It appears here a heavenly spark that, as it descends to earth, is converted into the lightning flash, which almost in the same moment sets on fire and consumes the mortal being on whom it lights. All that is most intoxicating in the odor of a southern spring, all that is languishing in the song of the nightingale or voluptuous in the first opening of the rose, all alike breathe forth from this poem. But even more rapidly than the earliest blossoms of youth and beauty decay does it, from the first timidly bold declaration and modest return of love, hurry on to unlimited passion, to an irrevocable union; and then hasten, amid alternating storms of rapture and despair, to the fate of the two lovers, who yet appear enviable in their hard lot, for their love survives them, and by their death they have obtained an endless triumph over every separating power. The sweetest and the bitterest love and hatred, festive rejoicings and dark forebodings, tender embraces and sepulchral horrors, the fullness of life and self-annihilation, are here all brought close to each other; and yet these contrasts are so blended into a unity of impression, that the echo which the whole leaves in the mind resembles a single but endless sigh.




The first scenes of nearly every play of Shakespeare are remarkable for the skill with which they prepare the mind for all the after scenes. We do not see the succession of scenes; the catastrophe unrevealed; but we look into a dim and distant prospect, and by what is in the foreground we can form a general notion of the landscape that will be presented to us, as the clouds roll away and the sun lights up its wild mountains or its fertile valleys. When Sampson and Gregory enter "armed with swords and bucklers"--when we hear "a dog of the house of Montague moves me"--we know that these are not common servants, and live not in common times; with them the excitement of party spirit does not rise into strong passion--it presents its ludicrous side. They quarrel like angry curs, who snarl, yet are afraid to bite. But the "furious Tybalt" in a moment shows us that these hasty quarrels cannot have peaceful endings. The strong arm of authority suspends the affray, but the spirit of enmity is not put down. The movement of this scene is as rapid as the quarrel itself. It produces the effect upon the mind of something which startles; but the calm immediately succeeds. Benvolio's speech--



Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun

Peer'd forth the golden window of the east ...

--at once shows us that we are entering the region of high poetry. Coleridge remarks that the succeeding speech of old Montague exhibits the poetical aspect of the play even more strikingly:



Many a morning hath he here been seen,

With tears augmenting the fresh morning's dew.

It is remarkable that the speech thus commencing, which contains twenty lines as highly wrought as anything in Shakespeare, is not in the first copy of this play. The experience of the artist taught him where to lay on the poetical coloring brighter and brighter. How beautifully these lines prepare us for the appearance of Romeo--the now musing, abstracted Romeo--the Romeo, who, like the lover of Chaucer,



Solitary was ever alone,

And walking all the night, making moan.

The love of Romeo was unrequited love. It was a sentiment rather than a passion--a love that solaced itself in antithetical conceits upon its own misery, and would draw consolation from melancholy associations. It was love without the "true Promethean fire," but it was a fir preparation for what was to follow. The dialogue between Capulet and Paris prepares us for Juliet--the "hopeful lady of his earth," who



Hath not seen the change of fourteen years.



The old man does not think her "ripe to be a bride;" but we are immediately reminded of the precocity of nature under a southern sun, by another magical touch of poetry, which tells us of youth and freshness--of summer in "April"--of "fresh female buds" breathing the fragrance of opening flowers. Juliet at length comes. We see the submissive and gentle girl; but the garrulity of the nurse carries us back even to the



Prettiest babe that e'er I nursed.



Neither Juliet nor Romeo had rightly read their own hearts. He was sighing for a shadow--she fancied that she could subject her feelings to the will of others:



But no more deep will I endart mine eye,

Than your consent gives strength to make it fly.

The preparation for their first interview goes forward; Benvolio has persuaded Romeo to go to the Capulet's feast. There is a slight pause in the action, but how gracefully it is filled up! Mercutio comes upon the scene, and is placed by the side of Romeo, to contrast with him, but also to harmonize. The poetry of Mercutio is that of fancy; the poetry of Romeo is that of imagination. The wit of Mercutio is the overflow of animal spirits, occasionally polluted, like a spring pure from the well-head, by the soil over which it passes; the wit of Romeo is somewhat artificial, and scarcely self-sustained--it is the unaccustomed play of the intellect when the passions "have come to the clenching point," but it is under control, it has no exuberance which, like the wit of Mercutio, admits the coloring of the sensual and the sarcastic.



The very first words of Romeo show the change that has come o'er him. He went into that "hall of Capulet's house" fearing



Some consequence yet hanging in the stars.



He had "a soul of lead"--he would be "a candle-holder and look on." But he has seen Juliet; and with what gorgeous images has that sight filled his imagination!



Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!

Her beauty hangs upon the cheek of night

As a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear.

We have now the poetry of passion bursting upon us in its purple light.



The lovers show the intensity of their abandonment to an overmastering will. "They see only themselves in the universe." That is the true moral of their fate. But, even under the direst calamity, they catch at the one joy which is left--the short meeting before the parting. And what a parting it is! Here again comes the triumph of the beautiful over the merely tragic. They are once more calm. There love again breathes of all the sweet sights and sounds in a world of beauty. They are parting, but the almost happy Juliet says:



It is not yet near day--

Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.

Romeo, who sees the danger of delay, is not deceived:



It was the lark, the herald of the morn.



Then what a burst of poetry follows!--



Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day

Stands tiptoe on the misty mountains' tops.

Note the exquisite display of womanly tenderness in Juliet, which hurries from the forgetfulness of joy in her husband's presence to apprehension for his safety. After this scene we are almost content to think, as Romeo fancied he thought:



Come what sorrow can,

It cannot countervail the exchange of joy.

The sorrow does come upon poor Juliet with redoubled force. The absolute father, the unyielding mother, the treacherous nurse--all hurrying her into a loathed marriage--might drive one less resolved to the verge of madness. But from this moment her love has become heroism. She sees



No pity sitting in the clouds--



She rejects her nurse--she resolves to deceive her parents. This scene brings out her character in its strongest and most beautiful relief.



The final catastrophe comes. They have paid the penalty of the fierce hatreds that were engendered around them, and of their own precipitancy; but their misfortunes and their loves have healed the enmities of which they were the victims.








the historical balcony of Juliet where she waited for her Romeo...


















Romeo and Juliet















a closer look...

























 





And they died together. Romeo thought his beloved Juliet died in the tomb when he opened it. And took his poison, kissed Juliet, drank it and died on her lap. Juliet awoke, finding her lifeless Romeo. Without second thoughts, she snatched his dagger, kissed him and stabbed herself. There they lied, together on the tomb before the Capulets came and stunned with the deaths of two lovers. The love they had was forbidden by their families. But they died together.







 

It's one of my favourite stories and the tale was told in a song by dearest Taylor Swift. It's called Love Story. It's my favourite song and I actually am writing a story based on the song. The song is easy to convert into a story and the theme is really exciting. I can't tell you about the story in here. But I tell it to my BFFs and they think it's really good. Thanks for their compliments.

I'm not having the writer's mood today but I'm writing my story though. I love doing it. I have been practising my guitar chords  for two days now and my left fingers are really hurt. But the effort's worth my while. I practise Taylor's 'Crazier' and 'Fifteen' songs. They're awesome songs!

To end the story for today is a song by Taylor Swift. Love Story all the way. Miss you!

Love Story

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air
See the light
See the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way to the crowd and say, "Hello"
Little did I know
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my Daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet!"
And I was crying on the staircase, begging you, "Please don't go"
And I said,

c/o:
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting 
All there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say, "Yes"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cuz we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
'cuz you were Romeo
I was your scarlet letter
And my Daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet!"
But you were everything to me
I was begging you, "Please don't go"
And I said,

(repeat c/o)

Romeo, save me
They try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult but it's real
Don't be afraid
We'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story
Baby, just say, "Yes"

But I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said,
Romeo, save me
I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head
I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your Dad
Go pick out a white dress
It's a love story
Baby, just say, 'Yes'."

'cuz we were both young when I first saw you.

Forever n Always
Hannah
     

Monday, April 12, 2010

A Tale To Be Told

Hello there,

Just as I promised, I am here to tell you about the former crush I had whom was the hardest to get over with. He was a good friend of mine and I found that it was fearless to fall in love with your best friend. My idol, Taylor Swift, quotes that. I believe in him but I am not sure if he believes in me. He could tell it from his mouth and convinces me anytime he wants, but the truth is still there. Hiding in his hidden eyes. I have to admit I write so many, many songs about him. I write about how lucky I am to have him as a good and close friend and how I wish we'll be close forever. And the feelings I had, well, it was undescribable and I believed that it was another feeling of joy inside of me. I was happy with the feeling, until he asked me this. He asked me, if we dated before, would we be together and last forever. I wasn't sure what to answer him at that time, but now I do believe I have it. But I'm waiting for him to ask me that question again. Because if he does ask me about it for the second time, I'm just hoping all those faiths come back to me and show me directions of how to tell him the truth. He told me he had a girlfriend before when I was 18, and I have to admit I was bruised by his words. He asked me if he gave roses to her, what would she felt and I suggested him to give her red roses instead of other flowers. I know I shouldn't have told him that because it bruised me much deeper inside, but, I just couldn't let him know how I felt. You might think it was foolish of me, but that was what I could thought of. I didn't want to tell him how I felt because I didn't want to lose him. He couldn't ever be my soulmate but at least he still can be my good friend. He's the best friend I've ever had and I knew him since we were 15. Good times.

And the songs I write about him, well, that was the hardest part. The first time I met him, I wrote how he shone in front of me and how beautiful those eyes were. And I sat next to him and I actually wrote about him but when he tried to look at my writing, I covered the song with my other books. And so he didn't see any visible word in my paper. In conclusion, I write everything and anything about him but he didn't notice. That wasn't a good sign because he thought I was imagining the guy in my songs when the guy I wrote and described all these years was all about him. I didn't write his name out but the characteristics were all about him. Maybe he missed that out, but I did give signals to him. He just didn't realize any of it.

When I was doing my practical in Raub, when I was in the fourth semester last month, my two friends and I went to KL and I told him about it. He wanted to meet me. And so I went with my friends accompanied me. I wasn't scared to meet him alone, but I knew he would bring along his friend too. And I was right. He brought along our former classmate, Chee Ken. How they both grown up to be . . . college boys. And he wore a light-coloured shirt and faded blue jeans, while I wore a green T-shirt and a blue jeans. Of course, my friends weren't talkative as usual during the meeting and I was being myself -- shy, speechless and stared at him talking. He glanced at me while he was talking to Chee Ken and I wasn't sitting facing him, but his friend. And he made us laugh, of course, he always does that. And he offered us food and drink but we weren't really hungry. It was just enough to see him again. And when it was time to go home, he offered to walk us to my friend's sister's car, but we refused him to do so. We've bothered him enough.

And after the meeting, I was confused. Confused of thinking if I accepted him two years ago, would things be the same. And I couldn't remember how we became good friends. I mean, things weren't always the same but the way he wrote things in his notes in Facebook, makes me think about it all over again. The note below was the one I'm meaning about. I'm not sure who the girl he's referring to, but, it is a lot like me. Here the note is:

Alteration..




Monday, March 8, 2010 at 2:00pm


Love.. These feelings aren't intentional; you and I both know that.. Are the feelings reciprocal..? I'm always afraid to admit the truth, so I have always stuck here wondering if you ever felt the same way about me.. I don't know if it's infatuation, lust, or actual love..






I honestly can't tell anymore, I've fallen too many times now.. Am I just another common friend to you or is there something more..? I don't know what to do anymore, could you just please give me a sign..? I mean like, 'come on show some signal or whatever..'






This might give away who I am(obviously =P) and who I'm talking about but I'm willing to risk that.. Just for you maybe.. Maybe if you read this, you might understood what I'm trying to say.. Friends, they are a valuable thing, too valuable, that's why I don't have many of those(You know who you are =D)..






I may sound like a loser or a loner to you, but I'd rather have this life(But I'm afraid), than one with a bountiful of friends that don't care.. I may be insecure, and I tend to worry about minor things but I never let the feelings show(maybe).. Sometimes there isn't much space to kept all these feelings and is hard to store it..






People who know me thinks that I'm strong, even though I'm really not.. I'm softer than a cotton, way too soft that I might even get carried away.. Of course this may seem easier said than done, and it may be true, but it's worth a try. If you ever read this(I knew you would), I hope you know who you are, because I have already told you this once before maybe many..? xD






A friend isn't a friend to keep if they are never there for you.. If they don't want to be friends, just let them go, is not worth keeping as it will collect dust.. You will make plenty of friends in life, so letting one go is sometimes okay.. I hope this is making sense to you, because I'm getting a little confused.. You kept me a side like a doll waiting to be clean.. Sometimes you don't sometimes you did yet you are not throwing me away.. I'm so confuse with the sign you gave.. Too confuse that I have no word to replace it..






Please stop being so pessimistic, because I hate seeing you like that.. Every time that you are sad, it makes me feel the same.. I feel like I'm no help to you even just a little, and that just makes things worse for me.. I try the best I can to cheer you up, but I don't really know how.. Probably I'm afraid of trying.. I hate failures.. I fail too many times in my past, too many that I afraid to just try.. It frustrates me that I can't do anything yet seeing people revolve around you is much better than me.. Tell me what I can do to help you(I will try)..






If you ever need me, you know where to find me(I hope O.o).. I will be here with open arms to help you, and I will try my best to put a smile on your face.. I have know too much about you that sometimes even a slight error, I just could not resist it..






Sorry if my words confuse you as much as they to me, sorry if I'm not a great friend, and I'm sorry for being me..






Let me end with a quote I love.. =D


Thx for those who love my notes.. Appreciate it lot..


Love you guys.. xD






"I am not discouraged, because every


wrong attempt discarded is another


step forward."


- Thomas Edison-


-Chung Yii-

The words are so deep but I couldn't figure it out. The boy I'm talking about is this boy. The only face that took me four years to get over with.
































the left one . . .





















That's all I can say about what happened after my boyfriend and I declared as boyfriend and girlfriend. and thank goodness it was over with. Sorry for not insertingg the first song I wrote about him in here. I think the pictures worth the description of him in my songs. Well then, I'll blog more about my stories soon.

Forever and Always
Hannah


Saturday, April 10, 2010

There'll be . . . . One Less Lonely Girl

Hi there,

For a record, the title isn't about Justin Bieber's song. It's more of about me and to be precise, about me and the guy I blogged about in the previous story. The story continues. We became friends ever since. And the female worker at the same store who I left my number to, became my big sister and we share lots of cool things together. She told me everything about him and it was funny. Okay, his name is Fahmi. Like I told you, REAL names are included in here. And my big sister's name is Fatiha.

Okay, the story continues. Fatiha told me that he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend and at that time, we had been friends for almost five months. I wasn't buying it, I thought she was just kidding me. But it ended up to be true.

I was in the third semester and was doing my practical in this place called Lipis. It's in Pahang. And we did extra shifts for a week and we've got three days off that weekend. All of the practical students wanted to go home that weekend and that included my housemates. I wanted to go home too, but unfortunately both my parents were outstation that weekend. So, I told Fatiha that I would like to come to Grik that weekend and I went there with my friend, Nea. She dropped me in KL and I had to go there all by myself. And I arrived at 6 in the afternoon that day. And Fahmi was waiting and he find a rented motel for me to spend the days there. I chose to be that way. NO WAY I would stay with his family. And he paid the rent for me! How kind of him. And later that night at 8, he took me out to dinner at his fave place. He told me stories about his childhood and how excited he was when I was there. But he didn't say anything about asking me to be his girlfriend like Fatiha told me before. But I wasn't paying attention on that. I was listening to his stories, though. I spent two days there and he eventually asked me on the second day and he asked me by the river. I love water so much and he chose the right place. I was listening to the music of the water when he asked me and my nervousness gone. It's a love story so I said 'Yes' to him. And later that afternoon at 2, I went back to Lipis. It was a happy starting, to be honest. And so, we're dating now.

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Ooops!! That's SO not him...
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Here's the day he took me out.
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My big sis, Fatiha

That is all I can say about our relationship now. And for the new blog, I'll blog about the guy I found hard to get over with when I was 18. Yes, coming up, Chung Yii's story will be blogged.

Forever n Always
Hannah

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Story Goes On . . . .

Hey there,
Meet again and first thing first - I'm totally absolutely sorry for being two months late. But the great news is that I have LOADS to tell you. So, don't get mad okay? I've just learned a new lesson - NEVER get mad, or you'll look ten years older than your age.
Okay, let's start with the previous story. After I knew he cheated on me, I dumped him. And a new episode started and it happened in the same year but different month. I was in the second semester and I was doing my practical for two weeks in this small town called Grik. And so, I loved walking in the streets there and I had a close friend who shared the same interest - walking out. And later that night, I went to this 24 hour store called 7Eleven (yeah, you know it) and while I was choosing things to buy andtalking to her, this guy really caught my eye. And he was walking toward the counter. I was holding a bottle of Lemon Pop drink and I whispered to my friend, "How am I going to pay this? That boy with the spectacles is cute" and that did it. I went to the other counter and he stared at me. His partner made a joke and I laughed, but not MY acquaintance partner. She didn't laugh at the jokes.  I was like, 'Whoa, she's not laughing' and she was actually texting her boyfriend and she wasn't paying any attention but to her phone. And so that boy just smiled at me and we left the store early. On the next day, a friend asked me to buy her some bread at the place and so I went there with my acquaintance partner (again) and this time, I bought a sachet of instant soup and some bread for her. And I paid them at his counter.
 
OOh! Rewind . . . Before we went there, we filled our empty bottles with this RO water downstairs, then we went there.
 
Okay, back to the story. When we were paying for the things we bought, my acquaintance partner, who was about to pay her mineral water had actually, positively and totally forgot to bring her purse. So she wanted me to wait at the store (and I was left alone!!!) to watch over the stuff while she went back to the house and fetch her purse. And so, I begged and pleaded for her not to leave me there alone for the guy was absolutely staring at me. But she wouldn't listen, so she just left me and went back to the house. I waited for ten minutes alone with the guy and there was no other customer in the store!! He asked me about the practical, my age, where I live and lots of info on myself. And his boss next to him just walked away and that was worse! I wasn't scared freaked but I was more of embarrassed. It was dreadful, but an okay thing. And so, she came back and when I was about to reach for my stuff, he pulled them to his way and was kind of like playing tug-or-war with the stuff with me. I asked, "You want to give it to me or what?" and he laughed and gave them back to me.
 
And the next day was freaking crazy. I was walking with some friends toward the hospital and we had to cross the store for a short cut and so, when we walked, I was talking like popcorns.
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
TALK
 
 
SCREAM!!!!!!!
 
 
Yes, I screamed. And because of why? Because he was staring at me AT the WinDow and was hooking his chin up with his hand. And then my friends shrieked. They thought I saw a dog, but I didn't see any but a cute boy waving at me. I walked away and left my friends behind and I know I blushed. And at the hospital, a girl told me that he sent his regards to me and he actually called me -- The Girl who Was Left Alone. How funny!
 
And so, after two weeks of practical, he told his acquaintance (and it's a girl) that he wanted to know me and I left my number to her. On the next day, he texted and we became friends ever since. He called after three months of friendship and he sounded like a small boy. LOL!
 
Okay be serious -_-!!
 
That was the story about my moving on moment. Want to know what happen to this guy? I'll blog more in here tomorrow. And I'll insert my first song about him.
 
Forever n Always
Hannah