I was in the car with my parents and my youngest sister and we were on the way to my Grandma's house when I was humming a song I wrote about my former crush when I was fifteen. His name is Kevin, and I blogged about him in the previous, previous blog. The one with the crushes' names. His name's in it too. I remember it well. Well, it was nothing but I haven't read the song for almost half a year now. That's my uncorrosive habit. I love reading back my old writing.
Okay, about him. Well, I was humming the song and I actually remembered how we were close friends. We texted to each other for almost four years. But it ended a few months ago. Actually, it stopped when Facebook was born between us. Not that it's Facebook's fault I lost a friend. It's more like, since Facebook, he was like -- kind of like, doesn't need me anymore. And he totally doesn't know I wrote a song about him. It's unfortunate. Now let me tell you something about him. He's very friendly and a real social butterfly. And when he laughs, you can see right through his heart and you'll see how sincere those laughs are. He's a happy boy and every time he speaks, you can feel the air sways your presence boldly and precisely. This isn't a phrase. But this is something real. A REAL thing to say. I've experienced it for four long years. And the song, well, I do really, really wish I could sing it in front of him. Guess I could if I see him again. But I'm not sure when and how. I couldn't just meet him and during a friendly talk, just go and sing to him. That's not a good sign. Well, the song is actually about him not believing in my love, faith and trust for him since we became friends. And yes, he did say the words and so, I was like, "Okay. You ask for it. I'll be moving on and forget all about you. Don't say you're sorry if you know what I'd do." And so far, he doesn't know about the song and I believe if he does know about it, it'd be too late for him to realize the real thing. This happens every time I write songs about the people that make mistakes to me. I had a few friends who I trusted most when I was thirteen and when they betrayed me, I wrote about their mistakes and the real things that went wrong between us back then. And when I was fifteen, they tried to reach my phone number to call. Just to say they're sorry but I couldn't say, "Okay. You're sorry. I forgive you." NO. I couldn't say that. It was too painful.
And for Kevin. Yes, lots of people -- I mean. LOADS of people believe that we should forgive and forget. But not me. I forgive -- BUT I DON'T FORGET. That's me. Okay, enough writing about Kevin. Below is the song I wrote about him. The lyrics says it all.
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It's Kevin
Once upon a day
I was dreaming and kept saying "This will fade away"
I caught on something
I hold back when he says
"Just look me in the eye and say this is all wrong"
But I'm not joking so it seems for me
We'll never gonna work out because you can't see
That you belong with me here
Hunny, well let me say something that you've always wanted to say here
Honestly I fell for you
pre-c/o:
So I walk away now
You're not here somehow
And it feels so wrong, I know
But this love was so strong
Now when I see your face in the crowd
I just say, "It's Kevin"
c/o:
I see the smile coming over when something goes blue
It's him that I love
And it's him, he's not you
I see your face in the crowd
But I say, "It's Kevin"
Were you feeling it?
Were you the only one who knew this but couldn't see it
Kept on thinking it's a joke
I called you, I tried to say
But I'm thinking it's too late so I was like, "Goodbye"
So here goes nothing now
This was stupid somehow
Here's the warm tears
Don't think you know it now
What could I say here
'Cuz I'm thinking it's too late and I was like, "See you around"
(repeat pre-c/o and c/o)
I'm not feeling it since then
Yeah I don't now
Forget it
Just forget it
It was a crush, nothing much
Forget it
Just forget it
It was a crush, nothing much
(repeat c/o and pre-c/o)
(repeat c/o)
I'm not feeling it since then
I just simply say, "It's Kevin", yeah
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