So, I was wondering of what to write in here when it comes to my REAL story. And I mean, REAL story of ny life. None of my family or my friends know about this. I don't tell them about me having a blog, because this is STRICTLY about me and my story. And they, especially my friends shouldn't share this with me because I found that some of them are part-time backstabbers. And I actually MEAN it.
Okay, let's start with myself. I'm 19 and going to be 20 this coming 14th of February. Yup, I know. Valentine's Day. Some people actually get thrill when I tell them I was born on this kind of day. They think it's awesome. But for me, it's just a plain date. I love bracelets and I'm totally love song writing. I've been writing songs since I was 9 and it's the only way I can gather my emotions and express them in my writing. I also enjoy poetry and pull imaginations on my stories. I have wrote two stories so far and now I'm working on my very first novel. My writings are all in English because I love the language so much. About my songs, I write about my friends, family, strangers, my ex-friends, the boys I had crushes on, my boyfriend and most of all, the things I've always wanted to say to people who make me feel. The things that I wanted to say on their faces but no suitable words could express it, so I just sit on the floor and say the words in my writing. I want to tell them that they made me sad or happy and how I wish something would happen to them after I write a song about them. For example, if that person makes me happy, I would wish a light would shine on him/her every single day. But if that person hurts me, I would wish he/she would walk on cloudy days until they know what they just did to me. I never wish bad things but my wishes are more of inner feelings. But just a few of the people I wished came true in their lives and they realized the mistakes. But it was too late. I wasn't there when they wanted to ask for forgiveness.
And as for my songs, they haven't been published openly. I sent some to my editor of the school mag and they published only three out five that I sent. My best friends love them and one of my besties, Zaidah, loved them so much and she requested me to write one for her. I wrote one and gave it to her and she was thrilled about it. She said every word I wrote for her had become her inspiration. That was great. About my songs, I said I wrote about boys I had crushes on. Yeah, I did. My first crush was on Syakir, my classmate when I was six. Too young to have a crush, I know. He was like a light in my life because he was my neighbour, he liked to come over to my house. We studied together and I was a real silly when I told him I liked him. It was embarassing when he then ignored me after I said 'I like you' to him. Boys are weird. And I didn't write anything about him. I was too young. But I did write about him in my diary. My second crush was when I was eight and I was totally in love with Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. Haha..it was a funny crush but I wrote about him when I was nine. It was my very first song and it was like a kiddo song. You know, with 'la la la' words. It was funny, I had a crush on a superstar. I tried hard to forget him after I wrote that song and eventually, my 'crush moments' stopped until I was ten. I totally forgot about him. And after a few years of writing about my friends, school and family, I had my third crush when I was eleven and that lucky boy was my classmate. His name was Fadhil but I didn't write a song about him too, because the crush was only for a few days(he then dated my best friend and I forgot about him too). We were classmates for two years in junior high. The story went on and so did my song writing. I forgot about crushes when I was in high school but when I saw this shy Chinese boy, I felt the crush again strucked in my heart. His name was Daryl and I was totally, madly having a crush on him. He have a face of Daniel Radcliffe, exactly, and I did silly stuff like, send him love letters but he totally ignored them. He didn't know I exist and I gave clues about myself. He was the boy that came into my dreams and made me smile alone. I write songs about him and I smiled whenever I saw him. He smiled back, but just to be friendly. I had a crush on him for two years straight and never had enough of him. I even wrote 'I Love D' on my hand! My friends asked me about it and I just told them I liked him a lot. And when he ignored me that much, I started to feel stupid and crushed. I erased him away from my heart and write songs about how blind he was because he couldn't see me for two years. And he was two years too late! Because when I was 15, I had a crush on my friend(who is now my best friend), he smiled at me a lot, but I knew he was too late for that. We can't go back to faded feelings. On my friend, his name was Chung Yii and the better crush after Daryl.
It happened when I was sitting next to my BFF, Raudhah and we were talking madly. Then our teacher, Mrs. Jill, called her name and asked her to sit at the back and asked HIM to sit next to me. I went from cheerful to silent when he came and sat next to me. I didn't talk to him because he was too cute to talk to. Haha..weird, I know. Then, there was this boy named Kevin talked to me and I laughed because he was such a joker. Chung Yii was kinda left behind, so one day, Kevin called me. He said, "Hey, Chung Yii wants to be friends with you,". And believe it or not, that conversation happened after THREE MONTHS he sat next to me. For real. Okay, back to it. I was like, "Okay, sure." and we talked. He then really talked to me from day to day. I even borrowed his Geography reference book and he was very friendly. I told Raudhah I liked him and she just backed me up. I write songs for him at home and definitely wrote about him in my diary. And he even made me laugh and smile in class. It's been years, and he gave me his number. He texted me after I changed school. And he even does that now. And we both have Facebook. We chat through there now and he seems happy. I still remembered he said these last year. He said, "If we were together, do you think we will last forever?" and "You were pretty for me". He said this last year and I was doing my second semester in my college. It was sweet and he knew I liked him. And by the way, he was there at the right time. I was suffering a sad time after a break up with my ex-boyfriend and he came just in time. He helped me get over it. I owe him one. And now I'm dating with the one I really love, Fahmi, and Chung Yii will stay as my best friend forever. He knows I have a boyfriend now and he was kind of like, wanted us to be like before, but I can't lie to myself. I only liked him once and I don't love him more than a friend-ly love. I write songs about him all these years and about my boyfriend, I'll tell you how I met him.
I was doing my practical for two weeks in Gerik and I met him at the 7Eleven store. I was with my best friend, Nik, and she accidently left her purse at the rented house we're living in and she had to leave me and went to get it. Our house was not that far from the store, so she went back. So, I was left there with him and he was very friendly. He made me laugh even though he didn't know me. I felt like he was the right guy for me and I talked to him easily. I was the kind of the girl who always finds it hard to talk with boys but for him, it was easy. I didn't feel nervous or whatsoever. On the next day, he watched me walking with my friends and when my eyes caught his sight, he waved at me. I just smiled and walked along. And one day, I left my number to him and he began to text me and called me almost every day. Now that we're dating, he made me happy and I began to know about his personality. He's funny. I went back there last October and declared as boyfriend/girlfriend, officially. And he asked me to be his girlfriend by the waterfall. How romantic was that? I just love water and he asked me near the water. It was calming.
I think this should be the beginning of my story. About myself. And I have a test next week and a two-months practical started on 24th of January. So, maybe I couldn't write for a few months. But don't worry, more stories are coming soon.
-Forever n Always-
Hannah
xoxo
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