Crushes and Boyfriends

We've gone with myself, crushes and friends before. Now, we're gonna move on to those few crushes that I still had feelings with and boyfriends. To be honest, I'm not the kind of girl who needs a boyfriend. But I do believe in prince charmings are somewhere out there, just waiting to appear. And my criterias - boyish stares, immature sense of humour, the song I've been singing about, great hair, and has sensitive soul. It's really hard to find the right prince and I'm telling you based on my experience.

Okay, for once and for all, I was still having a crush on Chung Yii and I had to write SO many songs about him, so that I'd get over it. And right now, I realize that I finally got over it. Thank goodness it was over with.

Right, now it's time for crushes and boyfriends. The crushes, well, the ones I forced myself to get over with were Chung Yii and Kevin. Yes, and I forced myself to write songs about them. The latest one was for Kevin and the song is called "It's Kevin." To be honest, that song was about me, couldn't get over him before. But now I do. Especially when he ignores me in Facebook. That is a stupid of me by adding him as my friend in there. Gosh, what was I thinking! He's finally over and I have to admit - Chung Yii was hard to forget. I mean, after I moved to other place, he texted me, asking how was I doing and being such a good listener. And so, he was the hardest crush to get over with. But the easier one Hamirul, the shy boy in my college. He looks totally exactly like Nick Carter and I had this crush on him when we were in the first semester. We were both in the same class, so I was like, "He's cute." And I told my best friend, Nik, about him and she told me to talk to him. But I was like, SO no way!  And then, after a few months. Like, six months later, he was in another class and it continued a year later. Different class. And when I was so sure of my crush, I was like, going to say 'Hi' to him in the computer lab. But then he blew it. He talked to this girl and glanced at me, as if I was looking at him. I was so mad that I sat down at the table in front of him, and began to blog in my Myspace. I wrote how he was so funny that he made me like him and how he blew the chance for me to say 'Hi' to him. So, I wrote this blog called 'I Write a Song About Him and He Doesn't have A Clue.' And I wrote the song right after I saw he laughed with that girl. How annoying! Urgh!!

Continue with the story - I faked a smile when he glanced at me when he was talking to that girl. That girl was a boast and I still don't have a clue how he fell for her. And after I wrote those long paragraphs about his stupidity, I left the computer lab and went into my room and started writing the song before I went to bed. I was like, "There! And I am SO gonna be over you" and on the next day, my crush on him just gone. Completely and I am absolutely, positively said he's just another crush to be told to friends. It was over and I'm SO thankful for that. And for this new semester, he's in the same class with me and that was the first time he talked to me EVER. But, the feelings gone, so I need no worry. I was doing my presentation and I had details on diabetic remedies and had this thing called ginkco. And he asked me what the heck was that? And I had to talk to him, seemed that my presenter friends didn't know what a ginkco was. And he was like, smiling to me, but I was like, "That is totally stupid." Goodness, he thought I still have a crush on him. It was like SO last year. Okay, he may could not figure the song about him out, but I am SO over him.

Now, boyfriends. I kept on reading books about love that said when you fall in love, you feel like you're totally flying. And I felt that when I first dated when I was seventeen. I met this guy when I was sixteen and I was doing a volunteer work on this camp. It's a camp about this seminar and it's about being a friend's counsellor. In here they call 'PRS.' And so I met him. I still remembered when the first moment I got there, I was with two friends and I saw him with his school mates. And I actually told my friends that he was a total cute. He was tall, had great hair, an extremely handsome face and he wore his librarian uniform very smart. I totally fell for him and guess what? He was in my group and my group number was four! Talk about lucky number. And his name was Khairi. What a handsome name for a handsome guy. The time he said my name, I knew he would be the one. And he got my number and after a year, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted because I was touching the sky when he asked me that. It was beautiful. He texted, called and totally into me at that time. And after a week, he went silent. With no news. He told me before that sometimes, his sister would borrow his cell, so I was kind of okay with it. Until I knew the truth. He cheated on me and he was with somebody else when he was with ME. Okay, details on it.

I changed my number and told him about it. I called his number, a female picked it up and told me he's not on the line. Said he's out and I told her I'd call him later. And I called him every fifteen  minutes, but still, that twerp told me he's still not there. Then, shockedly, she asked me who was I to him. And I said I was just a friend. But she didn't believe me. So I was like, "What? You think I'm his girlfriend? Puh-leeez, I am so not his girlfriend. So, can I talk to him now?" I almost said 'Pronto' but then I thought, she'd never understand the word. But she refused, so I just said she's stupid for acting like a control freak and my friend shouted on the line at her too. And then, me and my other room mate went to this movie the seniors were playing in the hall and I received phone calls by this weirdo number. I picked it up lazily and hung up. And there was his voice! I recognized him so well. I had to talk to him outside the hall and he told me not to call the old number again. Because why? Because that was his girlfriend's number!! How I shedded my tears crazily in the hallway. For him. He said he was sorry and I was like, "Okay." And after that, he called me often but it just got worse. I didn't want to get mad, I wanted to get even. And so, after a few months, he told me he broke up with that girl and wanted me back. I asked him why and guess what he said. He actually said, "I don't know. Maybe because I'm lonely now and you're the one who loves me." It made me shock so I just dumped him and ignored him and said he's a stupid boy. I got even with the help of my friend and it served him right. He didn't call me ever since.

I'm sorry for this ending. It's getting too late and I have class tomorrow. I'll write the story #2 on this tomorrow. I have loads more to tell in here.

Forever and Always
Hannah

Friends in Need . . . are THEY?

Hello,

Meet again in here . . . the Skyblue story. I was thinking of what to write after I wrote about crushes on the previous story. It was a feeling that I couldn't describe myself. It's a mix of excited, nervous and confused. I didn't know what to write at first but now, here I am.

Okay, I would like to tell you about my friends since I was in the kindergarten school. I studied in this religious kindergarten and I was a friendliest girl in class. I said 'Hi' to everyone and played with them together. And I met my best friends there too. Their names Illya and Suraya Hani and we became best friends until we're 8. We became best friends for 3 years because both of them moved out to other school. We were kids so no cellphones and we've lost contact on each other. So, I studied in this primary school and met other kids there. And I met these two girls who were really closed to me. Their names were Radi Roshini and Saraleana. We were in the same class and sat together at lunch in the cafeteria. Some people said my face and Roshini's face were almost similar and Saraleana was a mixed Malay-Chinese girl. She was a very funny girl. And of course, we sometimes fight, but that's just what good friends do. We make mistakes, learn from them and forgive each other. That's life. So let's go on with the rest. There were times when Sara liked to lie to us by telling stories that vampires were alive and those weird things about wishes that came true. And of course, we were kids back then, so we just bought her stories (and we finally figured that out when we were ten) and unconditionally just believed her. Lol xx..It was funny.

But our friendship stayed until we were ten because I moveed out to another school. It's a religious school and I didn't really like it there. Because of the place, which was so far from the town and its road to get there was surrounded with tall trees and bushes. I hated bushes. And I had to study in that school? It was a nightmare. Because we heard loads of stories about the school and there was once one of my friends begged to stay at my house, just because she couldn't stand the haunted. I didn't know if that's true at first, but when I was haunted, I believed her a little. Yeah, just a little. We can't trust people 100 percent. It's dangerous. And so, I went to that school for a year ONLY because I didn't like it there. And when I was 11, I went to this school and had so many best friends. My best friends were Afiqah, Amira, Ain, Hafizah, Izzah, and Nabilah. Oh before I forgot. I met my old crush, Syahrin, again and in this school. He completely ignored me back then and after a year, he moved out to another school. His family had to moved in to another house. Okay, about my best friends. We stayed best friends until the final year in primary school and that was when we were 12.

At 13, we went to separate schools and I met other new friends. But some of these friends were so mean to me and I couldn't understand why. I met my longest best friend, Hazwani, in junior high and we were in the same class for two years in that school. She met new friends and all of a sudden, she began to tell lies to me and talked bad things about me and not to mention, spreaded fake rumours about me. It was awful and I didn't know who I was going to talk to at school that time. And I made friends with this beautiful Chinese girl named Michelle Tang. She sat next to me and she said I was pretty. Lol xx... She loved drawings so much and she taught me how to draw. Thanks to her, I get to draw properly now. Hehe.. Michelle disliked the clique soo much and she was really, really smart. She loved to ask questions to the teachers and always got great grades. She's a true friend! *hugs~~~ I missed her and sometimes I give her a call. She gets excited when I call her. Ooh, and she said I was her best friend, which was very sweet of her. And about Hazwani, well this part is going to be about her. We shared stories about us when we were 8 and she told me she missed those times. And remember Daryl? Yes, she knew I had a crush on him so she told me this lie over and over again. She said that Daryl wanted to know me, but I knew she was lying in the first place. I knew it because there was no way Daryl would talk to her. I mean, she disliked him and she would just walked away when she saw him. So, she lied to me. Same goes with her clique, Nabilah, Umirah and Sofiah. These girls faked a friendship rule - honesty among friends. And I cursed them that I will never forgive them. And I met Raudhah, my BFF. She was friends with them too but just like me, they were mean to her too. They also disliked the way I scorede my grades and me befriending Michelle. It was their weakness to know that I was smarter than them. It's true. I scored high in my Geography and English when we were in the same class when we were 14, and I didn't tell them my score. And when they found out about it, they started to ignore me and glared daggers at me in every class. And of course, rumours about me. Urgh!!

At 15, I  was in the same class with Raudhah and I sat next to her. We talked a lot before she had to switch places with my old crush and good friend, Chung Yii and I became the silent girl with music filled my head when he's around. And that was why the song of mine called "Tear It Apart" came. I actually said this:

"He's the song in my head
In the car, everywhere; I'm through it"

He doesn't know about this. And I don't want to let him know about my song on him. And back to the friends:Raudhah and Michelle were in the same class with me when we were all 15 but I studied there only a half year long. Because my parents were transferred to other place. I had to say another 'Goodbye' to my friends and start another year making friends with strangers. But Raudhah and I are keeping in touch through Facebook now. Lol xx..

In senior high, I lived in a place where the people had different accent or language pattern compared to my old place. But I did have some cool friends there. I met Liyana, Shaadah, Amira, the Maths whiz girls, Mazira, the History girl, Zaidah, the 'it' girl and Aziz, the Maths brain boy. Liyana was such a friendly girl. She loved my humours and laughed a lot. Shaadah, Amira and Mazira were best friends since primary school, so they were like - bonding onto each other. Zaidah was the kind of girl who knows what to do with her life, even though sometimes she can be a heartbreak, but above all that, she had sensitive point of view. Aziz was the friendliest boy in school and a teacher's pet. He always got great grades in maths and Science and he really was such a know-it-all. He was the first person to say 'Hi' to me and he was my Dad's friend's son. Kinda cool huh? I thought so too. We all stayed in the same class until the highlight of high school - the Senior Year. We studied together, ate together and we all shared our sense of humour. I still remember when Zaidah was heartbroken by her first break-up when we were 16, she turned to me and told me the story. And I wrote her problems in my book, and that was when I started to write journals. and obviously, I wrote songs about them and I showed them to the girls. They LOVED it!! And I actually copied the songs and pasted them on my desk. My teachers just walked around me and read them. They said it was beautiful to dedicate songs to a person. I was Thankful! xxx...

This is another thing I would like to write about in 'Friends in Need . . .are THEY?' blog. As you can see and tell, friends are forever with you. They laugh with you, cry with you, make you smile, make you hurt, make you feel bad sometimes and even fake their friendship with you. All I can say is that, true friends are like pearls. To find them, you will have to see their inner beauty. Just like divers need to do before they search for pearls. They will have to find the oysters. And believe me, oysters are NOT pretty. And that's what you have to do. I may not be good at finding REAL friends, but I just met the GOOD ones since I was 16. And they are all my REAL friends. Here's a piece of advice for you:

True friends are like pearls,
Beautiful and rare;
Fake friends are like pebbles,
Hideous and everywhere.

Love,
Hannah